The Three Mistakes We Commit

Today one of our staff teacher had forwarded a video explaining the importance of saying NO to our kids. This was a very educative video to our new generation parents and thus it triggered a thought in my mind that we parents usually make three big mistakes while dealing with our kids. Thanks ! Ms. Puja Kaul for forwarding this message.
We all live in a world of danger. Toxic! High Voltage! Flammable! Slippery etc. and thus most of us think to give an insulated life to our children so that they don’t feel any pain. We all care about our children but recent research shows that our over protecting style has damaged them. Let me elaborate on some of the common mistakes we make.
1) Taking Risk – A big No
I have seen some parents they don’t allow their children to climb the slides, have swings independently, run fast, play with small pebbles or mud etc. The reason is quite clear they don’t want their kids to risk their health. Do you know that when a child plays in his natural environment then his body immunity increases and soon becomes independent to do some daily tasks but our society has created pervasive fears about letting kids be independent – and the consequences for our kids are serious.
Research has shown that children of risk averse parents have lower test scores than offspring of parents with more tolerant attitudes towards risk.
Thus by becoming over protective parents we are failing miserably at preparing our kids for a world that will not be risk free.
Childhood may be about safety but as a student matures risk and achievement are necessities in forming their identity and confidence.

2) Over indulgent parent is one of of an example of child abuse. As muscles atrophy inside a cast when not in use in the same way social, emotional and spiritual intellect muscles shrink because they are not exercised. A fine example of this is when parents do the work of conflict resolution among the friends of their kid. We should nor inculcate this feeling in the child that “ If I fail” an adult will smooth things because it actually makes our kids emotionally and socially crippled.

3) We rave too early – When we rave too early kids eventually learn to cheat, exaggerate and lie to avoid difficult reality. They have not been conditioned to face it. Like when vaccine is inoculated in our body then it is exposed to the dose of the very disease and thus we develop immunity to it. Similarly our kids must be inoculated with doses of hardship, delay challenges and inconveniences so that they learn to stand firmly in the challenging situations of life.

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