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The Three Mistakes We Commit

Today one of our staff teacher had forwarded a video explaining the importance of saying NO to our kids. This was a very educative video to our new generation parents and thus it triggered a thought in my mind that we parents usually make three big mistakes while dealing with our kids. Thanks ! Ms. Puja Kaul for forwarding this message.
We all live in a world of danger. Toxic! High Voltage! Flammable! Slippery etc. and thus most of us think to give an insulated life to our children so that they don’t feel any pain. We all care about our children but recent research shows that our over protecting style has damaged them. Let me elaborate on some of the common mistakes we make.
1) Taking Risk – A big No
I have seen some parents they don’t allow their children to climb the slides, have swings independently, run fast, play with small pebbles or mud etc. The reason is quite clear they don’t want their kids to risk their health. Do you know that when a child plays in his natural environment then his body immunity increases and soon becomes independent to do some daily tasks but our society has created pervasive fears about letting kids be independent – and the consequences for our kids are serious.
Research has shown that children of risk averse parents have lower test scores than offspring of parents with more tolerant attitudes towards risk.
Thus by becoming over protective parents we are failing miserably at preparing our kids for a world that will not be risk free.
Childhood may be about safety but as a student matures risk and achievement are necessities in forming their identity and confidence.

2) Over indulgent parent is one of of an example of child abuse. As muscles atrophy inside a cast when not in use in the same way social, emotional and spiritual intellect muscles shrink because they are not exercised. A fine example of this is when parents do the work of conflict resolution among the friends of their kid. We should nor inculcate this feeling in the child that “ If I fail” an adult will smooth things because it actually makes our kids emotionally and socially crippled.

3) We rave too early – When we rave too early kids eventually learn to cheat, exaggerate and lie to avoid difficult reality. They have not been conditioned to face it. Like when vaccine is inoculated in our body then it is exposed to the dose of the very disease and thus we develop immunity to it. Similarly our kids must be inoculated with doses of hardship, delay challenges and inconveniences so that they learn to stand firmly in the challenging situations of life.

Pampering the Kids

The word pampering- or give someone special treatment, making that person as comfortable as possible and giving them whatever they want: .
I purposefully wanted to touch upon the topic of pampering our children. Parent is born with the birth of the child. We all want to give best to our children so that he becomes a good human being. Sometimes the intentions are good but the outcome with our children is not positive. Pampering means to do all those things which a child is capable of doing by himself.

After a certain period of time it is the requirement of the child’s cognitive development where he wants to do everything By Me. Example of over pampering is when parents carry their child even though the child has mastered walking long ago. The parent extends the physical service beyond what the child physically requires. Excessive concerns of parents for their kids result into over protection.

Kids grow in age and understanding but parents consider them too young for any activity. Some parents find their kid too young to play with other kids while some try to restrict kids from climbing beds/chairs with the concern of falling. This overprotecting retards their overall development.

Reasons for over pampering:

With reduced family size and working parents, over pampering of kids is preferred to make up for the time lost away from home.

  • Due to high work pressures, parents with low tolerance wants to fulfill child’s desires as they do not want to be bothered by the kids.
  • Sometimes the parents think that they themselves did not have a privileged childhood so as a result they overindulge with the children.
  • Parents most of the time are unaware about the child’s needs and wants.
  • With increase in the income sometimes parents spend too much on what is not required . By doing this they think that it is a prestigious issue.
    A balanced behavior of parents can prevent over protection and over pampering. A few tips on this are:
    1. Spending quality time with children- parents, especially working mothers should spend quality time to make up for loss rather than fulfilling every desire.
    2. Drawing line between wants and needs.
    3. Teach them first deserve and then desire for anything.
  • 4. Parents should ensure some rules and boundaries and also that they are followed well for a healthy childhood.

5. Give some breathing space to the child so that he can start     taking    small independent decisions on his own.

Electronic Gadgets And Our Children

Do you know that now a days kids can use a mobile phone or tablet before they talk? They can master this art completely by primary school age. Surprising? Indeed.

It looks amazing that a 2-year old knows how to use a cellphone or tablet. But is it really good that all those touch screen devices are so wide spread among the growing up generation?

GADGETS, OBESITY & ADHD

While all agree that technology brings convenience and versatility, there is little information about potential health effects of gadgets. Most parents realize that too much time spent with a touch screen can lead to eye disorders. But is that all?

In 2014, the Association of Teachers in Britain reported that a rising number of toddlers lack the motor skills needed to play with building blocks though they can easily “swipe a screen”. The reason is an “addiction” to tablets and smartphones.

Children whose childhood is “stolen” by gadgets lack physical activity in all respects. In general, kids today prefer spending hours playing with their tablet or cellphone instead of heading outdoors to a park or getting active with friends.

.Gadgets addiction can affect a child’s sleep. Children too excited with gaming have problems with falling asleep. Gadgets overuse is always a risk factor for child depression, anxiety, autism, psychos and other problematic child behaviors.

LEARNING BY GADGETS IS ENTHRALLING

Surely, there are some benefits of early gadgets adoption. The major one lies in the educational opportunities for children. With a device connected to the Internet, kids have the fastest ever access to the information. Wikipedia, Google search, smart voice assistants are a good help to get trustworthy information for studies.

Studying with colorful and amusing mobile applications is far more engaging. Students have a wide choice of educational apps, videos, games, websites. Kids can take the learning home and learn while playing games.

TIME FOR A DIGITAL DETOX

Watch out for your kid. If he or she
• spends more than 2 hours a day with tech gadgets,
• protests against any restrictions of device use,
• can’t spend a day without a gadget, your child probably faces a gadget addition and needs help.

While it’s too early to talk about a special treatment programs in hospitals, some of their methods can be easily implemented at home:
• Start with a 72 hour digital detox. Eliminate any gadgets use by your kid. Refuse any access to gaming or TV as well.
• Try to distract your child with other activities that get him or her moving physically or challenge mentally.
• Then you reintroduce gadgets in a controlled manner – with restricted usage times.